


Akaashi Keiji, The Biggest Moronsexual

by auguston



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, akaashi has nice hugs, akaashi is a big moronsexual, akaashi is nice in general we all love him, and nice kisses, crack ending lmao, kuroo if u squint ahahhaha he has one clause but i still love him, like REALLY big, now for normal tags, sad bokuto hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21720277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auguston/pseuds/auguston
Summary: Bokuto's been acting really weird and Akaashi has to step in to figure out what's wrong.Or alternatively, Bokuto Koutaro, a whole idiot, can't function after asking Akaashi out, and Akaashi Keiji, who is highly attracted to said idiot, must figure out the problem.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 253





	Akaashi Keiji, The Biggest Moronsexual

Akaashi Keiji's boyfriend was an idiot. 

This was probably common knowledge by now. You see, after he had mustered up sufficient courage to ask Akaashi out, it still took a month or two before they could even _begin_ to function like a normal couple. During that period of time, Bokuto Koutaro went through two stages to cope with the new reality that Akaashi Keiji was now his boyfriend. 

The First Stage: **Complete and Utter Adoration**

When they’d first started dating, Akaashi was all Bokuto had been willing to talk about. Yes, even to Akaashi himself. The Fukurodani team would often find their captain staring wide-eyed into the distance, rambling to himself about a certain setter having "eyes like the stormiest seas, and hair as soft as a feather". In those initial weeks, Bokuto probably talked more about Akaashi than volleyball, yes, _volleyball_. The team couldn't decide if Bokuto's adoration was heart-warming or downright scary. 

The first practice session they had after they started dating was one in which Fukurodani was scheduled to play a practice match against Nekoma. In the match, Bokuto had missed five balls in a row. ~~Why? Well, there _was_ a slight possibility that it was due to the fact that Bokuto had been mindlessly staring at Akaashi's face for the past hour and a half, but that couldn't be the reason why he consistently missed five balls. ~~

"Bokuto-kun!"

The irritated, possibly angry exclamation arose from Coach Yamiji, and was accompanied by a sizzling hot side-dish of a pointed finger. The named finger was aimed furiously at Bokuto, whose muddled expression showed that though his body was here, his mind was clearly not.

"Huh, what?" The owl-haired ace asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"Oh nothing, just the fact that you've missed the past _five_ balls that Akaashi's sent your way, _Ace_ ," Konoha teased, placing emphasis on Bokuto's title. 

"...Akaashi?"

And hence, it could be inferred from this question that Konoha's teasing statement neither woke Bokuto from his Akaashi-induced daydream, nor enlightened him in the slightest. 

"I didn't miss any balls… did I?"

He craned his neck towards the side and scratched the top of his head, frowning as he tried to figure out what happened. Okay, _allegedly_ missing five balls probably had something to do with his seemingly hazy memory of everything that occurred since the start of practice. He definitely remembered stepping into the gym… He almost slapped himself, of course he remembered stepping into the gym! Something would be incredibly wrong if he didn’t. He sighed at the apparency of his observation. _Come on, Bokuto, what else do you remember?_ Oh, yes! He also recalled seeing Kuroo's smug smirk, then seeing Akaashi's face next to Kuroo’s, and… hm. It seems that was all he remembered. His mouth formed an "o" shape as realisation dawned upon him. 

"Heh, whoops," he said, letting out a sheepish laugh.

As Akaashi watched the scene unfold, a small smile found its way onto his face. He shook his head, _Bokuto Koutaro was such a dork_. 

The Second Stage: **Irrational Fear**

It took Bokuto a while to get back into rhythm, but he made it. It was then that he started behaving strangely _yet again_ —this time, he seemed adamant on avoiding Akaashi. He could barely look at Akaashi, talk to Akaashi, or even _be_ in Akaashi's presence for more than thirty seconds before finding some excuse to flee the premise. In fact, some of Bokuto’s excuses were so stupid that they lingered in Akaashi’s mind to this very date.

Once, after school, when practice was cancelled due to renovations.

_“Bokuto-san, would you mind practising with me for a while? I have a new technique that I’d like to try.”_

_Bokuto’s eyes shifted uneasily, feet shuffling a little on the floor._

_“Uh, I- Uhm, I can’t, I’m sorry! I, uh, I need to feed my- my penguins!”_

_He ran away very promptly after that. Akaashi sighed, resisting the urge to facepalm._

Another time, during lunch break, at the corridor near Bokuto’s classroom.

_“Bokuto-san, would you like to have lunch together?”_

_“R-Right now?!” Bokuto shrieked, a high-pitched sound like that of a frightened owl’s._

_Akaashi was confused, if he didn’t want to have lunch right now, when was he planning on having it?_

_“I’m- I-” Bokuto’s eyes latched onto a trash can nearby before they quickly darted back to Akaashi, “I promised Midorima-sensei that I would pick up trash for him!”_

_“Pick up trash…_ for _Midorima-sensei?” Akaashi inquired, raising a brow._

_“He said- Uh- He… He has a lot of trash in his office! I said I would help him!”_

_“Midorima-sensei, the neatest and most disciplined teacher in our school… has a lot of trash in office?” Akaashi almost wanted to die from internal laughter, Bokuto clearly hadn’t thought this through._

_“YES, HE DOES!!! I SHOULD GET GOING, GOODBYE!!!!”_

Yesterday, in the morning, before school started.

_“Bokuto-san, want to walk to school together?”_

_Akaashi finally managed to catch Bokuto on the way to school. Now, what excuse would he give this time?_

_“Oh! Akaashi! I…”_

_Akaashi waited patiently for Bokuto to give his excuse. And waited. And waited… Then Bokuto’s eyes lit up suddenly, he appeared to have finished formulating an excuse._

_“I’m pregnant!”_

_“What?!”_

Indeed, this ludicrous farce had been going on for more than a week, and Akaashi really couldn't take it anymore. It’d been funny at first but Akaashi was just plain baffled now. _What in the_ **_world_ ** _was going on with Bokuto? Akaashi hadn’t done anything wrong, had he?_

Heaving a frustrated sigh, he lifted a hand to massage his temple. Bokuto had left the gym a while ago to get a sports drink… perhaps an ambush would work? Yes, Akaashi would catch him off guard and leave Bokuto with no choice but to make proper conversation with him! Nodding once, Akaashi left the gym.

A minute passed, maybe two, Akaashi couldn’t tell. Then, he heard a soft “swish-slosh” sound coming up from behind him. He knew that sound—it was the sound of shoes dragging against the ground, not in a sluggish way as if the wearer was too lazy to move his feet. No, this particular sound could only be caused by a specific person, one who tended to bob his head side to side as he walked, like he was doing some little jig with his upper body. This person always had a spring in his step, making it seem as if he hadn’t a care in the world. And this person could only be one Bokuto Koutaro.

Akaashi moved away from his hiding spot by the exit to ambush the male.

"Bokuto-san," Akaashi called calmly, arms crossed and eyes gently peering into Bokuto's.

Caught unaware, Bokuto almost lept back in fright. His eyes widened in bewilderment, cheeks turning a bright red.

"Akaashi, what- what a surprise!" Bokuto cleared his throat, a futile attempt to cover up his nervousness. 

"Bokuto-san, did I do something wrong?" The setter asked carefully, lips turning down into a slight frown.

"Wh-what?! No! No, no, no, of course not! Why would you think that?! Of course you didn't do anything wrong! You could never do anything wrong!"

Bokuto rapidly rushed forward to clasp Akaashi's hands in his, wishing to dismiss Akaashi's thoughts of having made a mistake. He didn't realise that his quick movements landed his face a mere inch away from Akaashi's. Bokuto flushed immediately, retreating back a bit as his cheeks gained an ever deeper shade of red, if that was humanly possible.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to- Uh, I-" Bokuto wanted to crawl into a pit and die.

Bokuto was cut off by the sweet sensation of soft lips pressing against his chaste ones. Akaashi slipped his hands out of Bokuto's grasp to cup the youth's face gently, deepening the kiss in the process. If Akaashi wasn’t kissing him right now, Bokuto’s jaw would probably already have reached the floor. He really wasn’t lying, he was caught so off guard. But Akaashi's kisses worked miracles and Bokuto's anxieties soon eased. He unconsciously slid his hands onto Akaashi's waist to pull the dark-haired setter even closer to him. God, he loved Akaashi's kisses so much. No, he loved _Akaashi_ so much. And they stayed like that for a while, kissing in the darkness, faces illuminated solely by the light from the gym a distance away. Bodies still locked in a tight embrace, Akaashi inclined his head up just a little to peer at Bokuto. 

"Bokuto-san, if I didn't make you angry then is there a reason why you're avoiding me?" 

"I wasn't- Uhm, I didn't mean to avoid you," Bokuto started, awkwardly moving a hand to rub the back of his neck, "It's kinda embarrassing to say out loud."

Meeting Akaashi's expectant gaze, he sighed and continued, "I was scared."

"Scared?"

“I… I heard you laughing with that guy the other day, uhm, Kise, I think? The one who models. And I just- I couldn’t help but think about- What if… What if you’d be happier with him? Or with- with anyone else? I-” Bokuto’s lips began to tremble, turning down into a frown.

Akaashi’s heart ached at the sight—he hated it when Bokuto was sad. With his hand still on Bokuto’s cheek, he brushed away the tear sliding down the other’s face gently, leaving a light kiss on the trail it tracked.

“I mean- You could do so much better, you know? Than me? You- You’re just so perfect! Everything you say, everything you do, it’s so… so _perfect_. And I’m just- I’m just me! Useless, airheaded Bokuto.” 

He wound his arms even tighter around Akaashi, clinging onto the younger male like he was the only thing keeping Bokuto alive. Akaashi leaned in to rest his head in the crook of Bokuto’s neck, reaching a hand behind Bokuto to soothe him gently.

“That’s not true, Bokuto-san. You aren’t useless nor are you airheaded,” Akaashi pulled away to look at Bokuto, who was evading his glance, and smiled, wiping away the tears slipping down his boyfriend’s face, “Yes, you can be a big goof sometimes, maybe even an idiot, but you are most definitely _not_ airheaded. Can an airhead be one of the top five Aces going to nationals? I don’t think so.”

“Bokuto-san, I want you to look at me,” Akaashi paused, Bokuto’s eyes finally meeting his, and continued, “Do you remember what happened earlier today? When I wore my shirt the wrong way round and didn’t notice until Komi-san started laughing at me?”

Akaashi finally managed to get him to show a smile amidst the tears _(God, he loved that stupid lopsided grin so much)_.

Chuckling, Akaashi asked, “Do you think that’s something that would happen to a perfect person?”

“...No,” Bokuto admitted, sniffling.

“See? And Bokuto-san, I want you to know how much I love you. I’m not a particularly expressive person, and I know I don’t say it as often as I should, but I really do love you.”

Though it was Akaashi’s turn to blush and break eye contact now, his attempt to calm Bokuto down and settle his insecurities worked. The sniffling eventually stopped and Bokuto couldn’t help but ask after Akaashi, “ _Love_ love? Like, _really_ love?”

The meek, almost fearful tone of the question that juxtaposed Bokuto’s entire personality showed just how scared he truly was.

“Yes, Bokuto-san, _love_ love,” Akaashi repeated, a tender smile gracing his face, a smile that Bokuto knew was reserved only for him.

"Awww, Keiji, _really_?!" 

Bokuto's lips curled upwards almost instantaneously to form a big bright grin. He couldn't even begin to describe the happiness bursting from within him. If he really had to, then he'd probably liken himself to a pinata which had just been smashed, with all the joy just spilling out of him! So, what did Bokuto Koutaro do to express that joy? He sprinted into the gym and proclaimed his feelings and love for Akaashi at the top of his voice. 

"HEY, HEY, HEY! AKAASHI LOVES ME, I'M SO HAPPY! HEY, HEY, HEY!"

He was quickly followed by the yell of an extremely horrified Akaashi. 

"Oh my god, Bokuto, no!"

Yes, Akaashi Keiji's boyfriend really _was_ a whole idiot, but he wouldn't change that for the world.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm a huge sucker for BokuAka and I really hope that I did their characters proud :" Also, I wrote this in like an hour but took three whole hours to edit and I don't know what's wrong with me. Thank you all for reading this fic, I do hope you all enjoyed it! I really should write more and practise but wOW writing is h a r d. And big shoutout to my friend who beta-read this entire thing and made sure I didn't have to use the "not beta-read we die like men" tag. Her request was for my parentheses to be italicised so that's how it shall be *sigh*.
> 
> [ALSO HI IF YOU ARE HERE FROM MORONSEXUAL FIC I WILL NOW EXPLAIN: as you can see from this fic Akaashi is truly Moronsexual #1 ✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻and in my head I see him as just this big Moronsexual who's hopelessly in love with Bokuto's idiocy (and Bokuto of course). So yes!! HAHA If you haven't read the Moronsexual fic yet, you should ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *shameless self plug-in whoops*.]


End file.
